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Dear People-pleasers, These Mantras Will Make You Happier

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I am Tosca

Hi there

Tosca is a feminine empowerment and embodiment coach, as well as a 500-hour yoga alliance certified yoga teacher with years of teaching experience, who helped many women over the last years in gaining more self-love, joy, and pleasure in their lives. 

Dear People-Pleasers, These Mantras Will Make You Happier

If you’re a people-pleaser, you know the drill: saying yes when you want to say no, bending over backward to keep everyone happy, and putting yourself last on the list. It feels noble, even rewarding at times. But let’s be honest—it can leave you drained, resentful, and questioning your worth.

Breaking free from the cycle of people-pleasing doesn’t mean becoming selfish; it means setting boundaries, prioritizing your mental health, and realizing that your happiness matters just as much as anyone else’s. To help you on this journey, here are some transformative mantras designed to empower you, boost your confidence, and bring a sense of peace to your life.

1. “My needs are valid, too.”

People-pleasers often dismiss their own needs in favor of others. We learn this from an early age on read more on the feminine wounds here. This mantra is a powerful reminder that your feelings, desires, and well-being are just as important as anyone else’s. When faced with a decision, ask yourself: What do I need in this situation? Start small—honor your need for rest, alone time, or simply saying no to plans that don’t excite you.

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2. “No is a complete sentence.”

One of the hardest things for people-pleasers to do is say no. It feels harsh or confrontational, but it doesn’t have to be. “No” doesn’t require an explanation, excuse, or apology. Practice saying it with kindness but firmness: “No, I can’t help with that right now.” Repeating this mantra helps you see “no” not as a rejection, but as a way to honor your limits.

3. “I can’t pour from an empty cup.”

This classic wisdom is especially relevant for people-pleasers. When you overextend yourself, you run out of emotional and physical energy, leaving little for anyone—including yourself. Use this mantra to remind yourself to recharge. Whether that means taking a walk, reading a book, or simply sitting in silence, self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

4. “I am not responsible for other people’s happiness.”

This one’s a game-changer. It’s easy to feel like it’s your job to fix everyone’s problems or make sure they’re happy. But the truth is, happiness is an inside job. You can offer support, but you are not the solution. Letting go of this weight frees you to focus on your own joy.

5. “Discomfort is a sign of growth.”

Setting boundaries can feel deeply uncomfortable, especially when you’re used to pleasing everyone. That discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re stepping into a healthier version of yourself. Lean into it. Growth is messy, but the reward is worth it.

6. “I choose authenticity over approval.”

People-pleasers often wear a mask to gain acceptance, but this comes at the cost of their true selves. By embracing this mantra, you can shift your focus from gaining approval to living authentically. When you’re true to yourself, the right people will appreciate you for who you are—not for what you do for them.

7. “Saying yes to myself is the best yes of all.”

Every time you say yes to something you don’t want to do, you’re saying no to yourself. Flip the script: prioritize your goals, passions, and joy. This mantra reminds you that your time and energy are precious, and you deserve to invest them in things that light you up.

How to Use These Mantras

Mantras are most effective when practiced regularly. Write them down, keep them on your phone, or post them on sticky notes where you’ll see them daily. When you feel the pull to people-please, pause, take a deep breath, and repeat a mantra that resonates. Over time, these affirmations will become second nature, rewiring your mindset for happiness and self-respect.

Healing the Mother Wound: Mantras for People-Pleasers

The “mother wound” refers to the emotional pain, unmet needs, or limiting beliefs that stem from a complicated relationship with your mother or maternal figure. For people-pleasers with a mother wound, the need to earn love, approval, or validation often feels deeply ingrained. You may feel that no matter how much you do, it’s never enough—or that prioritizing yourself somehow betrays the relationship.

Healing this wound isn’t about assigning blame; it’s about reclaiming your worth and breaking free from patterns that no longer serve you. These mantras are designed to support your healing journey and help you shift from seeking external approval to nurturing self-love and inner peace.

1. “I am enough just as I am.”

This mantra addresses the core wound of feeling unworthy unless you meet certain expectations. Repeat it to remind yourself that you don’t need to prove your value through actions or accomplishments—you are inherently deserving of love and respect.

2. “It is safe for me to set boundaries.”

For many people with a mother wound, setting boundaries feels like betrayal or rejection. This mantra reinforces that boundaries are not acts of rebellion—they are acts of self-respect. They help you preserve your emotional well-being without severing connections.

3. “Her story is not my story.”

Sometimes, the expectations or criticisms you face are reflections of your mother’s unhealed wounds, fears, or experiences. This mantra helps you detach from her narrative and see that you are not responsible for her emotions, choices, or past.

4. “I am allowed to outgrow old patterns.”

People-pleasers often feel guilty for changing, especially if they were conditioned to prioritize family harmony. This mantra affirms that growth and healing are not betrayals—they are necessary steps toward living authentically.

5. “I am not responsible for fixing her pain.”

You may feel compelled to heal your mother’s wounds, but her healing journey is her responsibility. This mantra frees you from the weight of trying to mend something that was never yours to fix.

6. “My needs matter, too.”

If you grew up learning that your needs were secondary to others’, this mantra reclaims your right to prioritize yourself. It’s not selfish—it’s essential. Use it as a reminder to honor your desires, feelings, and limits.

7. “I give myself the love I didn’t receive.”

The mother wound often leaves a gap where nurturing, support, or unconditional love should have been. While you can’t rewrite the past, this mantra empowers you to fill that gap with self-compassion and care.

8. “I can love her and still choose myself.”

Healing doesn’t mean cutting ties or harboring resentment. It’s possible to love your mother (or her memory) while prioritizing your own needs, values, and well-being. This mantra helps you navigate the balance.

9. “I release guilt for choosing my happiness.”

Guilt is a common companion for people-pleasers with a mother wound, especially when stepping away from old dynamics. Use this mantra to remind yourself that choosing your happiness is not an act of harm—it’s an act of healing.

10. “I am free to define what love means to me.”

If your early experiences of love were tied to conditions, this mantra helps you redefine love on your own terms—rooted in mutual respect, care, and authenticity rather than obligation or sacrifice.


How to Integrate These Mantras

Daily Practice: Start or end your day by repeating the mantras that resonate most with you.

Journaling: Reflect on how each mantra applies to your life and what emotions arise as you use them.

In the Moment: When old patterns resurface—like guilt, over-apologizing, or ignoring your needs—pause and repeat a mantra to ground yourself.

Go on a Women’s Retreat for Deep Healing

For a truly transformative experience, go on a women’s retreat. These retreats provide a nurturing space where you can practice emotional alchemy, learn self-love, and immerse yourself in nature’s healing embrace. Guided by the wisdom of the divine feminine, you’ll connect with practices like tantra for women and engage in deep, soulful work that helps you release old patterns, honor your authenticity, and reclaim your power.

A women’s retreat isn’t just an escape—it’s a sacred journey back to yourself. Read about my deep retreat imersions here.

Healing The Mother Wound For People-Pleasers

Healing the mother wound is a courageous act of self-love. These mantras are not about rejecting or resenting your mother—they are about reclaiming your power, rewriting the narrative, and creating a life where you can thrive. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and every step you take toward healing is a step toward freedom and inner peace.

You are worthy. You are enough. And you are capable of creating the love and joy you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Dear people-pleasers, breaking free from this cycle won’t happen overnight. It’s a journey that requires patience, courage, and self-compassion. But as you embrace these mantras, you’ll discover that happiness doesn’t come from pleasing others—it comes from living a life that honors your needs and values.

Start small, stay consistent, and watch as these mantras transform not just your outlook, but your entire life. Remember: you are worthy of the love and care you so freely give to others. Now it’s time to give some of it to yourself.

Do you want to address your mother wound, transform your pain into empowerment, and step into your most authentic self? Join my course or sign up for Goddess Medicine today and start your journey toward healing and freedom. Your future self is waiting.

Keep reading about the Mother Wound:

Read more about the Mother Wound in my Series:

Healing the Mother Wound

How The Mother Wounds Affect Us

Finding Forgiveness for the Mother Wound

What is The Mother Gap

Power Dynamics of the Mother Wound

Discovering the Inner Mother

Breaking Free From Generational Traumas

The Taboo of Questioning Motherhood and the Idealization of Mothers in a Patriarchal Society

Love, Tosca

people-pleaser self-love women retreats europe tantra retreats for women
people-pleaser self-love women retreats europe tantra retreats for women

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I’ve spent years passionately guiding women in feminine embodiment, leadership, and self-love, helping them reconnect with their innate power, wisdom, and authentic expression., helping hundreds reconnect with their innate feminine power, wisdom, and authentic expression. My journey as a mentor has been one of profound personal growth and dedication. I know firsthand that reclaiming feminine power requires courage, self-awareness, and deep inner work, and I have embraced this path with authenticity and integrity. This commitment has equipped me to hold safe, nurturing spaces where women feel empowered to explore, heal, and thrive.

Developing Unique Tools and Practices:As a feminine embodiment and leadership mentor, a 500-hour Yoga Alliance certified yoga teacher, and an experienced retreat organizer, I have spent years exploring, practicing, and developing my own set of tools and practices. Through time spent living and traveling in India, Thailand, Indonesia, and other countries, I’ve gained a rich diversity of insights that guide women to connect deeply with their bodies, emotions, and inner wisdom. My methods integrate yoga, breathwork, meditation, sensual work, and feminine embodiment practices, creating a holistic approach that fosters healing and transformation. By blending ancient wisdom with modern insights, I help my clients release old patterns, rediscover their sensuality, and build confidence in their self-expression.

 Giving Transformative Experiences: I share my wisdom both online and through immersive, in-person retreats, where I have led 6-9 retreats annually over the past few years. These retreats are more than just gatherings; they are transformative experiences that allow women to step away from the chaos of daily life and reconnect with their true selves. Each retreat is carefully curated to provide a balance of self-reflection, healing, and community, fostering a sense of belonging and sisterhood. A Unique Approach That Resonates: What sets my approach apart is my unwavering commitment to ensuring each woman feels genuinely seen, heard, and understood. Through a foundation of deep empathy and attentiveness, I foster an environment where clients feel safe to explore and express themselves fully, free from judgment. By providing personalized guidance, I support women in awakening self-love, nurturing self-care, and discovering a renewed sense of purpose. Many clients describe our work together as “life-changing,” not only because of the emotional healing they experience but also due to the profound shifts in self-connection and personal empowerment—guided by the deeply caring, nurturing essence of the divine feminine that I bring into each session.

 Empowering Women Worldwide: Whether through my online programs, workshops, or retreats, my mission is clear: to empower women to embrace their femininity, trust their inner voice, and live authentically. I have helped women from all walks of life find the courage to reclaim their power, embrace their sensuality, and express their deepest truths. For me, this work is not just a profession; it is a calling, a way to uplift and inspire a global community of women to step into their fullest, most radiant selves.


I'm Tosca, your new feminine embodiment, tantra & Feminine Leadership Coach, Mentor & BFF

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"Seriously the best decision to go on Tosca´s Retreat. Just do it."

I can’t begin to describe what a transformative week I had with Tosca at the private retreats. I ended up receiving so much more than I ever expected.

In Tosca’s capable hands, I was given a unique opportunity to challenge some of the long-held ideas and beliefs about myself that I didn’t even know I was carrying. I was provided a safe space to grieve and heal from wounds I thought were long buried. I was offered, patiently and consistently, an open and accepting heart as she gently guided me through a very difficult transition in my life.
I am grateful for her willingness to listen and hold space for me with so much love and compassion. Tosca truly has an exquisite gift and I highly recommend one of her retreats. If it doesn’t transform the way you approach your spirituality entirely, it will, at the very least, shift your perceptions of your deepest self and the way you view the world. You will leave with the feeling that your very soul was both heard and loved.

Paige, 1:1 private retreat

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"Tosca creates the most welcoming non-judgmental environment. I walked away knowing that I am enough and that I will always have unconditional love within myself."

Branda, Self-love 1:1 Private Retreat

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Branda, Self-love 1:1 Private Retreat

03

We covered so many aspects including limiting beliefs, emotional alchemy, shadow work. This was truly eye opening. I walked away knowing that I am enough and that I will always have unconditional love within myself. I don’t need to try and find it and approval in another person. I can be me and that is wonderful!

I really enjoyed waking my inner goddess. I have stuffed my inner goddess down for years. I have not truly let her out. With Tosca’s help through meditation and exercises. I was able to see her for the first time in a long time. I need to remember she is always there and let her out! I recognize she is truly beautiful, fun and adventurous.

I was carrying so much hurt and pain. This was causing my energy to be blocked. Tosca showed me through meditation and letting go exercises, I was able to release some of this hurt.
I enjoyed the Cacao ceremony. It really brought together all the sessions into a final ceremony that left a lifelong impression on me. I felt amazing at the end of the retreat. It couldn’t have been more perfect. Tosca also set up a Sound Healing for me which felt good. It really helped keep my energies flowing and focus on the me that is going to love herself going forward.

I would highly recommend this retreat for any woman that needs to remember who she is and that she is loved! Tosca creates the most welcoming non-judgmental environment. The accommodations were beautiful, warm and inviting. The food was amazing, beautiful and very healthy. a space where everyone can share, and everyone can heal.

"Tosca makes you feel so loved, seen, understood and felt"

We felt very encouraged by Tosca and each other. Tosca really supported us during the whole process. She shows a lot of compassion, especially for the ones needing more support. She was able to give each and every one of us what we needed from this program.

I went through a lot of feelings during this time, I connected to my soft energy, as well as to my powerful energy. This program is a space to really be open, to share, and to show, what is inside. Tosca really supports us to be open and to look inside, because sometimes it is scary to go through that process, to be ourselves, or to express ourselves and I think it's not an easy job to create a space where everyone can share, and everyone can heal.


Lin, Women of the wild retreat

04

"This retreat was everything that I needed and wished for and so much more."

Tosca, I want to thank you for this wonderful retreat and your coaching. It was all about the feminine energy, and you took care of each one of us. I was able to discover my soft energy, as well as my own power. we experienced true togetherness and you took care of us at all times. I really, really enjoyed being here and I opened my heart, I could really show some intimate things about myself feeling completely safe and supported. For this, I want to thank you, from all of my heart.

Miriam, group retreat

05

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