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I am Tosca

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Tosca is a feminine empowerment and embodiment coach, as well as a 500-hour yoga alliance certified yoga teacher with years of teaching experience, who helped many women over the last years in gaining more self-love, joy, and pleasure in their lives. 

Grieving the Mother Wound

Grieving the mother wound is a profound, transformative process. It involves mourning the loss of the relationship you may have wished for, the unmet needs from childhood, and the emotional scars left by a difficult maternal connection. This grief is complex because it often combines love, anger, sadness, and longing, leaving a tangled web of emotions to process. Below is a compassionate guide to navigating this unique kind of grief.


1. Acknowledge the Depth of the Grief

The grief tied to the mother wound is multilayered. It’s not just about the loss of a person or connection; it’s also the loss of a dream or ideal. You may grieve:

The mother you needed but didn’t have.

The unconditional love and safety you didn’t feel.

The missed opportunities for emotional connection and support.

It’s important to validate your pain. Society often idealizes motherhood, which can make grieving these wounds feel isolating. Know that your feelings are valid and deserving of space, no matter how complicated they seem.


2. Allow Yourself to Feel Everything

Grieving the mother wound can bring up a wide range of emotions: anger, sadness, resentment, guilt, or even relief. It’s okay to feel all of these things, sometimes all at once.

  • Anger: You may feel angry for the hurt caused, and that’s natural. Allow yourself to express it in healthy ways—write, scream into a pillow, or channel it into movement.
  • Sadness: Mourning the mother you wished for is deeply sad. Let yourself cry and honor the feelings of loss.
  • Guilt: It’s common to feel guilt for grieving a relationship that might still exist. Remind yourself that grief doesn’t mean ingratitude or disloyalty; it’s a natural response to unmet needs.

Give yourself permission to feel these emotions fully without judgment. Healing requires allowing space for all your feelings to surface.


3. Understand Grief Comes in Waves

Grieving the mother wound is not a linear process. You may feel fine one day and overwhelmed the next. Milestones—birthdays, holidays, or life events—can trigger the pain of what was missing. These waves are part of the process, not a sign that you’re moving backward. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate these ups and downs.


4. Separate the Relationship from Your Worth

One of the deepest aspects of the mother wound is the tendency to tie your self-worth to your mother’s actions or words. If your mother was critical, neglectful, or unavailable, you might feel unworthy of love or care. Part of grieving involves letting go of this false belief.

Remind yourself that your mother’s behavior was a reflection of her limitations, not your value.

Affirm your worthiness of love, care, and respect.

Work on replacing self-critical thoughts with compassionate ones.


5. Release the Idealized Version of Your Mother

A key part of grieving is letting go of the “ideal mother” you hoped for. This doesn’t mean erasing your love or respect for her, but it does mean accepting her humanity and limitations.

  • Reflect on who your mother is versus who you wanted her to be.
  • Grieve the gap between those two versions.
  • Release the expectation that she might change if doing so only perpetuates your pain.

Acceptance doesn’t mean approval or agreement; it means freeing yourself from the weight of unmet expectations.


6. Honor Your Inner Child

The mother wound often leaves a deep imprint on your inner child—the younger version of yourself who felt neglected, unseen, or unloved. Grieving the mother wound involves reconnecting with and nurturing that inner child.

  • Acknowledge your inner child’s pain: Write a letter to your younger self, validating their emotions and experiences.
  • Offer comfort: Imagine holding your inner child, reassuring them that they are safe and loved.
  • Meet unmet needs: Identify what you needed as a child—affirmation, safety, affection—and give that to yourself now.

By honoring your inner child, you reclaim the power to provide the love and care you’ve always deserved.


7. Create Space for New Supportive Relationships

Part of grieving the mother wound is realizing that you may need to seek the nurturing and support you didn’t receive elsewhere. Surround yourself with people who offer empathy, encouragement, and love.

  • Build connections with friends, mentors, or chosen family who affirm your worth.
  • Seek guidance from a therapist or support group to navigate your feelings.
  • Recognize that while your mother’s role may be irreplaceable, other relationships can fill some of the emotional gaps left behind.

8. Use Rituals to Symbolize Letting Go

Symbolic rituals can help you process grief and create closure.

  • Write a letter: Express everything you feel toward your mother—whether anger, love, or sadness—then destroy or release it as a symbolic act.
  • Create a memory box: Include objects or letters that represent the relationship you are mourning, and place it somewhere safe as a way to honor the past while moving forward.
  • Light a candle: Dedicate time to reflect on your grief and set an intention for healing.

These rituals can provide a sense of control and peace in an otherwise overwhelming process.


9. Celebrate Your Strength

Grieving the mother wound is not just about processing loss; it’s also about recognizing your resilience. Despite the challenges, you have survived, grown, and continued to seek healing. Celebrate the courage it takes to confront this pain and the strength you show in building a life of love and connection.


10. Give Yourself Permission to Move Forward

Grieving doesn’t mean staying in pain forever. As you work through your emotions, give yourself permission to envision a future free from the weight of the mother wound. This doesn’t mean forgetting your past or pretending it didn’t happen—it means allowing healing to create space for joy, self-love, and new possibilities.


Affirmations for Grieving the Mother Wound

  • “I honor my grief and give myself time to heal.”
  • “It is okay to grieve what I didn’t receive.”
  • “My pain is valid, and so is my growth.”
  • “I release the weight of the past and embrace my future.”
  • “I am worthy of love, safety, and peace.”

Grieving the mother wound is a courageous act of self-love. It’s a process of acknowledging pain, releasing expectations, and creating space for healing. As you grieve, remember that you are not alone, and there is strength in choosing to face and transform your wounds. You deserve the peace and freedom that healing brings. ❤️


Family dynamics often shape two types of children: those who unconsciously repeat the cycles of pain, dysfunction, and unresolved trauma, and those who courageously choose to break free and heal.

Repeating the cycle often stems from a lack of awareness or the belief that things cannot change, while breaking free from generational trauma and the cycle requires bravery, introspection, and intentional effort. You have the power to decide which path you’ll take.

Do you want to address your mother wound, transform your pain into empowerment, and step into your most authentic self? Join my course or sign up for Goddess Medicine today and start your journey toward healing and freedom. Your future self is waiting.

Keep reading about the Mother Wound:

Healing the Mother Wound

How The Mother Wounds Affect Us

Finding Forgiveness for the Mother Wound

What is The Mother Gap

Power Dynamics of the Mother Wound

Discovering the Inner Mother

Breaking Free From Generational Traumas

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I’ve spent years passionately guiding women in feminine embodiment, leadership, and self-love, helping them reconnect with their innate power, wisdom, and authentic expression., helping hundreds reconnect with their innate feminine power, wisdom, and authentic expression. My journey as a mentor has been one of profound personal growth and dedication. I know firsthand that reclaiming feminine power requires courage, self-awareness, and deep inner work, and I have embraced this path with authenticity and integrity. This commitment has equipped me to hold safe, nurturing spaces where women feel empowered to explore, heal, and thrive.

Developing Unique Tools and Practices:As a feminine embodiment and leadership mentor, a 500-hour Yoga Alliance certified yoga teacher, and an experienced retreat organizer, I have spent years exploring, practicing, and developing my own set of tools and practices. Through time spent living and traveling in India, Thailand, Indonesia, and other countries, I’ve gained a rich diversity of insights that guide women to connect deeply with their bodies, emotions, and inner wisdom. My methods integrate yoga, breathwork, meditation, sensual work, and feminine embodiment practices, creating a holistic approach that fosters healing and transformation. By blending ancient wisdom with modern insights, I help my clients release old patterns, rediscover their sensuality, and build confidence in their self-expression.

 Giving Transformative Experiences: I share my wisdom both online and through immersive, in-person retreats, where I have led 6-9 retreats annually over the past few years. These retreats are more than just gatherings; they are transformative experiences that allow women to step away from the chaos of daily life and reconnect with their true selves. Each retreat is carefully curated to provide a balance of self-reflection, healing, and community, fostering a sense of belonging and sisterhood. A Unique Approach That Resonates: What sets my approach apart is my unwavering commitment to ensuring each woman feels genuinely seen, heard, and understood. Through a foundation of deep empathy and attentiveness, I foster an environment where clients feel safe to explore and express themselves fully, free from judgment. By providing personalized guidance, I support women in awakening self-love, nurturing self-care, and discovering a renewed sense of purpose. Many clients describe our work together as “life-changing,” not only because of the emotional healing they experience but also due to the profound shifts in self-connection and personal empowerment—guided by the deeply caring, nurturing essence of the divine feminine that I bring into each session.

 Empowering Women Worldwide: Whether through my online programs, workshops, or retreats, my mission is clear: to empower women to embrace their femininity, trust their inner voice, and live authentically. I have helped women from all walks of life find the courage to reclaim their power, embrace their sensuality, and express their deepest truths. For me, this work is not just a profession; it is a calling, a way to uplift and inspire a global community of women to step into their fullest, most radiant selves.


I'm Tosca, your new feminine embodiment, tantra & Feminine Leadership Coach, Mentor & BFF

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"Seriously the best decision to go on Tosca´s Retreat. Just do it."

I can’t begin to describe what a transformative week I had with Tosca at the private retreats. I ended up receiving so much more than I ever expected.

In Tosca’s capable hands, I was given a unique opportunity to challenge some of the long-held ideas and beliefs about myself that I didn’t even know I was carrying. I was provided a safe space to grieve and heal from wounds I thought were long buried. I was offered, patiently and consistently, an open and accepting heart as she gently guided me through a very difficult transition in my life.
I am grateful for her willingness to listen and hold space for me with so much love and compassion. Tosca truly has an exquisite gift and I highly recommend one of her retreats. If it doesn’t transform the way you approach your spirituality entirely, it will, at the very least, shift your perceptions of your deepest self and the way you view the world. You will leave with the feeling that your very soul was both heard and loved.

Paige, 1:1 private retreat

01

"Tosca creates the most welcoming non-judgmental environment. I walked away knowing that I am enough and that I will always have unconditional love within myself."

Branda, Self-love 1:1 Private Retreat

02

Branda, Self-love 1:1 Private Retreat

03

We covered so many aspects including limiting beliefs, emotional alchemy, shadow work. This was truly eye opening. I walked away knowing that I am enough and that I will always have unconditional love within myself. I don’t need to try and find it and approval in another person. I can be me and that is wonderful!

I really enjoyed waking my inner goddess. I have stuffed my inner goddess down for years. I have not truly let her out. With Tosca’s help through meditation and exercises. I was able to see her for the first time in a long time. I need to remember she is always there and let her out! I recognize she is truly beautiful, fun and adventurous.

I was carrying so much hurt and pain. This was causing my energy to be blocked. Tosca showed me through meditation and letting go exercises, I was able to release some of this hurt.
I enjoyed the Cacao ceremony. It really brought together all the sessions into a final ceremony that left a lifelong impression on me. I felt amazing at the end of the retreat. It couldn’t have been more perfect. Tosca also set up a Sound Healing for me which felt good. It really helped keep my energies flowing and focus on the me that is going to love herself going forward.

I would highly recommend this retreat for any woman that needs to remember who she is and that she is loved! Tosca creates the most welcoming non-judgmental environment. The accommodations were beautiful, warm and inviting. The food was amazing, beautiful and very healthy. a space where everyone can share, and everyone can heal.

"Tosca makes you feel so loved, seen, understood and felt"

We felt very encouraged by Tosca and each other. Tosca really supported us during the whole process. She shows a lot of compassion, especially for the ones needing more support. She was able to give each and every one of us what we needed from this program.

I went through a lot of feelings during this time, I connected to my soft energy, as well as to my powerful energy. This program is a space to really be open, to share, and to show, what is inside. Tosca really supports us to be open and to look inside, because sometimes it is scary to go through that process, to be ourselves, or to express ourselves and I think it's not an easy job to create a space where everyone can share, and everyone can heal.


Lin, Women of the wild retreat

04

"This retreat was everything that I needed and wished for and so much more."

Tosca, I want to thank you for this wonderful retreat and your coaching. It was all about the feminine energy, and you took care of each one of us. I was able to discover my soft energy, as well as my own power. we experienced true togetherness and you took care of us at all times. I really, really enjoyed being here and I opened my heart, I could really show some intimate things about myself feeling completely safe and supported. For this, I want to thank you, from all of my heart.

Miriam, group retreat

05

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