I am Tosca
Hi there
Tosca is a feminine empowerment and embodiment coach, as well as a 500-hour yoga alliance certified yoga teacher with years of teaching experience, who helped many women over the last years in gaining more self-love, joy, and pleasure in their lives.
As an experienced feminine embodiment and leadership mentor, and yoga teacher, I’ve worked with countless women who struggle with that ever-present inner critic—the voice that undermines their worth, questions their abilities, and keeps them from fully stepping into their power. It’s a voice we’ve all heard at some point: “You’re not good enough,” “You can’t do this,” “Who do you think you are?” But what if I told you that this voice isn’t the truth of who you are? What if you could quiet it, embrace your authentic self, and reclaim your inner peace and power?
In both my embodiment work and yoga practice, I’ve found that silencing the inner critic isn’t about forcefully suppressing it. Instead, it’s about shifting our relationship with it, understanding it, and transforming the energy around it. Here are five ways you can start to quiet the inner critic and reconnect with the vibrant, empowered woman within.
1. Recognize the Inner Critic as a Separate Voice
The first step in silencing your inner critic is recognizing that it is not who you are. This voice is a pattern of thoughts and beliefs that have been shaped by past experiences, societal conditioning, and perhaps even childhood wounds. It is not your true essence—it’s simply a narrative that’s been programmed into your mind. When you hear it, try to step back and observe it as an external voice. In yoga, we practice the art of detachment, which allows us to witness our thoughts without being consumed by them. Remember, you are not your thoughts—you are the consciousness observing them.
2. Anchor Into Your Body and Breath
The inner critic often thrives when we become disconnected from our bodies, when we’re too caught up in our heads. As a feminine embodiment mentor, I encourage women to reconnect with their bodies through grounding practices. The body is our sanctuary, and when we come back to it, we come back to our truth.
Try this: Close your eyes and take several deep, slow breaths. As you inhale, feel your chest expand; as you exhale, release any tension. Place your hands over your heart or belly—wherever you feel most connected. Feel the life force that flows through you. In yoga, we call this prana—the vital energy that is constantly available to us. The more we cultivate body awareness, the less we allow the inner critic to dictate our worth.
3. Shift Your Mindset with Self-Love and Affirmations
When we practice yoga and embodiment work, we cultivate not only physical strength but also mental and emotional resilience. A powerful way to silence the inner critic is to replace its voice with loving affirmations. Our words shape our reality, and when we speak kindly to ourselves, we begin to rewire our mindset.
Start by acknowledging your strengths: “I am worthy,” “I trust my intuition,” “I am confident and powerful.” Repeat these affirmations daily, especially when the inner critic arises. Remember, self-love is not an act of vanity; it’s an act of liberation. You are allowed to love yourself fully, to appreciate the beautiful woman you are. Read here the full free goddess guide.
4. Embrace Your Vulnerability
The inner critic often shows up when we are about to step into something new, when we are stretching beyond our comfort zone. It’s the voice of fear and doubt. In yoga, we often speak about the importance of finding your edge—pushing yourself gently beyond what feels easy, while staying grounded and present. This same principle applies to silencing the inner critic.
Embrace the vulnerability that comes with stepping into the unknown. Instead of allowing your inner critic to paralyze you, acknowledge your fear and move through it with courage. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. When you show up as your authentic self, you give others permission to do the same. The more you embody this, the quieter the inner critic becomes.
5. Create a Sacred Practice of Compassion
In my work with women, one of the most transformative practices I teach is the art of self-compassion. The inner critic is often harsh, judgmental, and unkind. But how often do we show that same level of harshness to ourselves? In yoga and embodiment, we practice softness—softness in our movement, our breath, and in the way we treat ourselves.
Instead of beating yourself up for having negative thoughts, respond with love. Acknowledge the inner critic without judgment, and then offer yourself compassion. You are doing your best, and that is enough. Take time to nurture yourself—whether through journaling, meditation, or simply resting. The more compassion we cultivate for ourselves, the less space the inner critic has to grow.
Step Into Your True Power
Silencing your inner critic is a practice. It’s a process of coming back to yourself—your truth, your body, your breath, and your heart. As you quiet the critic, you create space for your authentic self to emerge. You begin to move through life with confidence, grace, and purpose.
Remember, the inner critic is just a voice. It does not define you. You are the radiant, powerful woman who has the ability to lead, to love, and to heal. In Tantra, we believe that by reconnecting with the feminine energy within, we tap into an infinite source of power. This power is free from judgment, free from fear, and most importantly, free from the constraints of the inner critic.
May you walk this journey of self-compassion and empowerment with grace, knowing that you are already whole.
The inner critic is basically fear and the limiting beliefs, that you have learned as a kid, teenager or young adult, that have manifested into your personality and you are today here to identify, challenge and change them into sth positive.
We Are Not Born with an Inner Critic
From birth, our most natural expression is creativity. We are born free, with an innate desire to create, explore, and experience the world. However, as we grow older, we begin to learn that our creative expression may disrupt others’ expectations or provoke judgment. In response, we internalize the critical voices of those around us—parents, teachers, siblings—adapting them into our own inner dialogue to protect ourselves from criticism.
Over time, this learned behavior shapes our inner critic, which now holds us back from fully embracing our creativity and soul’s path. We find ourselves stifling our natural impulses out of fear, becoming hesitant to take steps forward.
It’s essential to address the fears tied to our inner critic and deeply listen to what it’s telling us. Is the critic truly offering constructive feedback, or is it simply trying to protect us—often by preventing us from expressing our authentic selves and stepping into our creative flow?
Shift Negative Self-Talk to Neutrality
Transforming negative self-talk begins with shifting to a neutral perspective. This simple practice requires consistency, but you will start to see results! When you consciously observe your thoughts from a neutral standpoint, you can gradually shift them to a positive one.
For example, instead of saying, “I’m so ugly and overweight, no one will love me,” gently shift your thoughts to, “My body does incredible things every day, supporting me to move and function in this world.” Notice the difference? By making small, neutral changes, we avoid overwhelming ourselves with a sudden switch to overly positive affirmations that the inner critic may resist.
The key here is subtle rewiring of the brain, which can create lasting change.
Journaling to Address Your Inner Critic
Now, let’s take this practice into your journal. Start by answering these prompts on paper. This exercise helps you not only acknowledge the inner critic but also shift negative beliefs into more neutral ones, as discussed above. Ready? Let’s dive in!
- What is the root fear behind my inner critic’s voice?
Dive into the emotions and fears that fuel your inner critic. What is it trying to protect you from, and how is it keeping you stuck? - How has my inner critic been shaped by past trauma or unresolved pain?
Reflect on moments from your past—family dynamics, societal pressures, or past experiences—that may have contributed to the development of your inner critic. - When did I first start hearing my inner critic?
Go back in time. Can you pinpoint a specific moment or phase in your life when the inner critic began to take hold? What was happening in your life at that time? - How does my inner critic distort my sense of self-worth?
Examine the ways in which your inner critic causes you to feel unworthy. What is the narrative it’s telling you about your value? - In what areas of my life is my inner critic the loudest?
Identify the specific aspects of your life (career, relationships, body image, creativity, etc.) where your inner critic is most active. What does it tell you about those areas? - How does the inner critic hold me back from living in alignment with my soul’s purpose?
Reflect on how your inner critic interferes with your path toward fulfillment. How does it distort your true desires and dreams? - What would it look like to live a life where my inner critic no longer has a voice?
Imagine an existence where the inner critic is silent. What would you be doing differently? How would your relationships, career, and creative pursuits change? - How has my inner critic limited my expression of vulnerability or authenticity?
Reflect on how the inner critic has caused you to hide parts of yourself. How has it affected your ability to show up authentically in relationships or in your work? - What am I truly afraid of when I listen to my inner critic?
Go deeper into the fear that is behind your inner critic. Are you afraid of rejection, failure, judgment, or something else? Why does this fear have such power over you? - What would it mean for me to fully trust myself and my intuition, without the interference of my inner critic?
Explore what it would look like to trust your inner wisdom without second-guessing yourself or worrying about judgment. What would happen if you acted from that place of trust? - How does my inner critic influence my self-image and my body?
Dive into how the inner critic shapes the way you see and feel about your body. What messages has it given you about your appearance, worth, and self-love? - What societal or cultural norms have I internalized through my inner critic?
Investigate how external expectations (society, media, family) have shaped your inner critic. How do these norms affect your self-judgment? - What are the subtle ways the inner critic shows up in my daily life?
Pay attention to the small, often unnoticed ways the inner critic impacts your daily decisions, conversations, and actions. Is it in your tone of voice, your choices, or your relationships? - What if my inner critic is just an outdated protective mechanism, and I no longer need it?
Consider the possibility that your inner critic was once helpful but is no longer serving your growth. How can you lovingly release it, knowing it’s no longer necessary? - What is the wisdom or message that my inner critic is trying to convey, even if it’s flawed?
Instead of rejecting your inner critic, explore its deeper message. What is it attempting to protect or teach you, and how can you shift its guidance toward more empowering outcomes? - How would I behave if I didn’t feel the weight of my inner critic’s judgment?
Imagine your life without the heavy influence of self-judgment. How would you show up in the world? What actions would you take, and what would you allow yourself to experience? - What does self-compassion look like in the face of harsh self-criticism?
Reflect on how you can offer yourself compassion when your inner critic is loud. How can you gently counter the harsh judgments with a nurturing, understanding approach? - How can I rewrite my internal narrative to honor my journey rather than criticize it?
Reframe your life’s story in a way that honors your growth, mistakes, and lessons learned. How can you shift from self-criticism to self-celebration? - What would my life feel like if I let go of the need for external validation and only sought internal approval?
Dive into the idea of letting go of external validation. How can you shift your mindset to seek validation from within, trusting your own worth and decisions? - If I were to fully embrace my creative, authentic self without fear of criticism, what would I create or manifest in my life?
Envision what your life could look like if you allowed yourself to create and express freely, without the limitations of fear or self-doubt. What new possibilities would emerge?
Journal nightly, reflecting on moments when your inner critic took over. What triggered it? How did it make you feel?
Become Aware of the Inner Critic’s Influence
The inner critic thrives when we are unaware, going through life on autopilot. This voice can take over in moments of stress, self-doubt, or even routine activities. But by practicing mindfulness and awareness, we begin to shift the balance of power. Small steps of consciousness—like catching your negative thoughts as they arise—will change the game.
You Are Not Your Inner Critic
Understand this: The voice you hear telling you that you are not good enough is not you. It’s not your true self speaking; it’s the learned, conditioned response of your inner critic. Recognizing this difference is crucial.
When the inner critic speaks, take a step back, observe it, and say, “That’s just my inner Karen talking nonsense.” By choosing to identify the voice as a separate entity, you reclaim your power. You are the observer of your thoughts, not a prisoner to them. And you will notice that, when you observe with compassion, the critic’s voice quiets down.
The Inner Critic Often Mimics Childhood Caregivers
Have you noticed that the voice of your inner critic often sounds eerily similar to the voice of a caregiver from your childhood? Whether it’s a parent, teacher, or another influential figure, the inner critic often carries their tone, expressions, and way of speaking. Recognizing this pattern can help you separate these learned criticisms from your true self, allowing you to release them more easily.
Reflect and Rewire
I invite you to take time with your journal and the prompts I’ve provided. Allow yourself the space to reflect on your inner critic and how it manifests in your thoughts and actions. Through consistent journaling and mindfulness, you can begin to rewire these patterns, moving towards a more loving and compassionate relationship with yourself.
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